16 February 2017

Worried About The future?

Excited about the future….

For the very first time in a long while, I am excited about the future. I have found something to focus on, something to get my creative juices flowing that not only allows me to escape out of the gloom once in a while, but has helped me to feel more positive and upbeat about the next chapter in our journey.

Let me take you back a little bit, I am a thirty-one year old mother to three beautiful and crazy children, and girlfriend of eleven years to Kenny. (No he hasn’t married me yet!)

As the title of my blog suggests we have autism in the family, not one child but two are diagnosed with ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition) and the third is being assessed a week on Tuesday. Lola also has a number of other associated disabilities and is currently undergoing some extensive genetic testing to find the cause. Kenny also has a disability, X – Linked Adrenomyleneuropathy is a neurological condition that affects the organs below the waist. He is disabled too and his mobility is seriously impacted. As you can imagine my family life workload is pretty heavy and as a result of this I had to quit my job, as a book – keeper for the family business in 2016.

I have already touched upon my feelings of being a full time carer in my blog post The Forgotten Carer, but it began ……

I am a forgotten carer, I didn't choose to be a carer and if I am honest it wouldn't have been o my list of dream jobs to do when i was younger

Its not that I don’t like caring for my family, I absolutely do, and it feels really good to know that I am doing my absolute best as a mother and partner and providing them all with the love and care that each one of them needs and deserves.

However, there was something missing, something in my life didn’t quite feel finished, I felt like I hadn’t accomplished my dreams, I had more to give, more to do. I was desperately searching for my dream.  I always had ambitions, when I was little, I wanted to be a journalist, or a writer and I went through a stage of wanting to be a chef. As you can I settled for Blogger.

It was no use though this niggling feeling didn’t give up and one night after a long month of sleepless nights it finally hit me.

I wanted to write books, children’s’ books, and literally all at once I had the characters name, I knew what she looked like and I knew the exact storylines.

In the morning I contacted an illustrator because I knew I needed to get this character out of my head and onto paper, I’d even written the first book within a week and the lovely lady who is bringing my books to life has been a virtual friend for nearly 5 years. She knew exactly what I wanted, even by a brief description, and she had worked on her overnight and transformed an image created in my head to a beautiful digital drawing. I had my first character. Lucy Smith is one amazing artist. She got the whole concept of my book, she knew instinctively how she should look, what she should be wearing, what colors to use and my little Bunny’s personality shone through straight away. There was nothing to edit. There was nothing to change. No mistakes were made. She is a true professional and I cannot wait to start this journey with her and see what other creations she comes up with. If you want to check out her other work you can do so here: lucysmithart.com and her facebook page is Lucy Smith Art

The excitement that I felt in those first two weeks was immense, I was literally bursting at the seams and I couldn’t stop looking at my lovely new animated character, which became my screen saver in all of 5 seconds. To be able to have a career of my own actually fulfills me, to know that if I can make a decent income out of writing to secure a decent future for my children makes me feel safe and secure. Kenny isn’t going to be able to work forever and I need to start something that I can do from the comfort of my own home, with no pressure and be able to drop things at a moments notice, because after all first and foremost I am mother, partner and carer – not necessarily in that order – and this will always be my priority.

Over the last two years, from the time I started telling ‘Our Journey’ I have made some amazing new friends. I have been supported by lots of other people from all different walks of life, people from other countries, as far as America and the blogging world has really broadened my horizons. I feel really privileged to have met some of these wonderful people and Rachel MacAulay who is the editor over at Autism Awareness and has her own Blog page https://challaandhaggis.wordpress.com           has even agreed to edit my books for me. Thank you Rachel, you not only publish my writing on your wonderful page, you’ve shared my writing from my own blog helping me reach an amount of people I could only have dreamed about, and you were also there for guidance when I needed you, I haven't met you but I am truly grateful for all that you have done, and part of my success is down to your own kindness and your faith in me.

So without further ado, I want to introduce you all to my gorgeous character Loola, a little bunny based on my daughter Lola, I want you to join me in my brand new adventure, I want to share my journey with you and I really hope you all love her as much as I do.

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  1. Oh this is fab news, so exciting for you and us! Look forward to following you on this journey xx

  2. Wow sounds so exciting ...lookig forward to hearing more about Loola xx

  3. Replies
    1. Anonymous23/2/17 10:36

      Thanks ann very exciting xx

  4. How adorable is Loola? I love her already. I can't wait to see how your story progresses and wish you the very best of luck xx

    1. Anonymous23/2/17 10:36

      i cant wait to show you more!! x

  5. Aaah Loola is gorgeous! I am so pleased that things seem to be falling into place for you. I think it's so important that you have things that are "for you" as well as your roles are carer, mother, etc. I'm looking forward to finding out more about Loola! #blogcrush

    1. Anonymous23/2/17 10:37

      Thank you Lucy, its very important and put the spark back into my life xx